1 – Football commentators give up padding with meaningless rubbish. “When these two teams met in 2003 the away side led 1-0 with 13 minutes to go but lost so the home fans will feel there’s still a chance to turn this around.” It’s rubbish, stop it.
2 – Martin Brundle will stop endlessly reminding us that he used to drive F1 cars to try and make himself seem special. We know why you got the job so just do the job. It’s for our benefit, not your’s.
Martin Brundle: racing driver.
3 – Someone senior at the BBC will realise that sending Mike Bushell to try bog-snorkeling in Diss is a waste of money and very dull.
4 – Viewers will stop grizzling about paying for Sky Sports. It’s the 21st Century; if you want to watch sport it’s going to cost you.
5 – Third umpires and TMOs hurry up and make a decision. If you can’t give it, then don’t… and vice-versa.
6 – Jeff Stelling and his Gillette-sponsored panel of old pros get given the flick. Ceefax was better and that’s before anyone invented the internet.
Stelling: not as good as Ceefax.
7 – Showing still photographs on TV sports bulletins because you haven’t got the rights looks and is crap. Yes, you BBC.
8 – Eurosport does more to promote their MotoGP coverage. Toby Moody and Julian Ryder are thebest commentary double act anywhere. If you have something to shout about then do so.
9 – Sky Sports News might be first with the news, but every other media outlet doesn’t need to copy their style. “Terry not a racist, insists Villa-Boas.” “Vettel is driving better than ever, insists Damon Hill.” I insist that stops.
10 – Stuart Barnes shuts up about red wine. In fact, Stuart Barnes simply shuts up.
Barnes: not such a fine vintage.
11 – Same for you, Stevo.
12 – That Sky cricket commentators stop calling Ian Botham, Sir Ian. No one likes a suck-up, Nasser.